Average Reviews:
(More customer reviews)Love is a many-splendored thing.It's also how we, as a species, manage to reproduce and survive.This book looks at love from the latter perspective.In that vein, it discusses love (and sex) through some very non-romantic lenses - psychology, evolutionary and otherwise; economics; game theory; physiology; non-verbal communication ...
Trees really does cover all the bases here.This topic is a particular interest of mine and I've picked up bits and pieces from all over the place.This is the first book I've come across, though, that really puts it all in one place.
If you're familiar with this stuff, it's all there - David Buss, The Red Queen, bonobos, The Paradox of Choice, oxytocin, vasopressin, Helen Fisher, waist-to-hip ratios, Frans de Waal ... you name it.At the same time, though, you'll probably also learn a thing or two.
If you're not familiar, however, you'll learn quite a lot.For example, do you know why humans have larger testicles than gorillas, but smaller ones than chimpanzees?How many years do you think being single take off your life?Why are there so few genes on the Y chromosome?To be able to attract a female, how much extra money does a man have to make per inch under 6' he is?What kind of smelly male T-shirts are women attracted to?
In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if you'll become something of an expert, as Trees covers just about everything.He also does so in a very lucid, engaging style - something that can't be said for all the experts.I can't really imagine a better introduction.
The only problems I had with the book were in the last few chapters.One of these is ostensibly a list of do's and don'ts.Most of these were prefaced in the rest of the book, but some of them were simply a grab bag of things he wanted to introduce and hadn't had a chance to do so yet.These were mostly of the form "A study said that x, so you'll definitely want to do x."No discussion, no debate, no counter-arguments, no nuances.Some readers might even see this as a problem for the rest of the book too.
Another thing that was a lacking was a happy ending.Believe me, a lot of this stuff is incredibly depressing.And it's not that Trees didn't have a chance to.His last chapter talks about marriage, which had a number of good things to be said for it.In particular, I was struck how happily married couples tend to idealize their partners.What a great way to end such a depressing book.I think Trees recognized this idea's potential, but he really didn't play it up as much as he could.
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Product Description:
A smart, entertaining, and eye-opening look at the science of love.
Relationships should be so simple. You meet someone. You fall in love. If all goes well, that person falls in love with you. You live happily every after.
As Andrew Trees reveals in Decoding Love, this 'romantic storyline' has shaped our thinking about relationships for centuries. But the fairy tale is deeply flawed. Researchers today are making shocking discoveries about how and why we choose the people we love.
Drawing from the latest studies in economics, brain science, game theory, evolutionary psychology, and other fields, Decoding Love takes on a topic we all think we understand-how we fall in love-and illustrates that most of our assumptions are wrong. Along the way, Andrew Trees offers surprising new insights into the nature of attraction and desire as well as an intimate look at the strange intersection of romance and the modern world of dating. Throughout, Decoding Love reveals the frequently bizarre scientific findings about human attraction from the powerful influence of smell to a mathematical theory that one must date twelve people before happening upon Mr. or Ms. Right. Everything from a genetic marker for infidelity to the way the pill can sway a woman's choice of her partner is explored in this astonishing and thoroughly amusing account of what goes into determining why one person falls in love with another.
Page-turning, thought-provoking, and sparkling with wit, Decoding Love is an uncommon look at that most common of human pursuits: falling in love.
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